It took over 30 years, but Nick Cannon has finally done something halfway interesting. This entailed him appearing to be hopped up on either booze or drugs or both and doing a bunch of weird shit such as finger blast a doll which he was pretending was Nicki Minaj.
Since Cannon has absolutely nothing interesting to say, he has to be really animated. Unfortunately it’s pretty abrasive and makes it hard to watch his insane meltdown. A lot of TV hosts go crazy at some point and start questioning reality. After all, how could anyone explain this dude making $70,000 per episode? If that’s real, illuminati, chem trails, flat earth, the sky’s the limit.
Cannon left America’s Got Talent over a dispute with NBC because he wanted to do a joke about them not letting him say the word Nigger. They were set to pay him $6 million. Any time a boring dude is grossly overpaid in entertainment they start pushing back. It’s a deep down realization that they don’t deserve their salary and so they sabotage themselves out of guilt. Charlie Sheen started bitching about his wardrobe on Two and a Half Men. He thought the bowling shirts made him look like a tool. Right, the shirts were the problem. Have you ever watched your own show between screwing trannies bareback?
Dudes don’t want to admit that they’re getting paid specifically to be forgettable vanilla milk toast. Cannon wanted to start getting edgy. That’s the opposite of what his job was. You’re supposed to not distract from the car commercials. Wanting this guy’s opinion on politics is like wanting Alan Greenspan’s opinion on comedy. He is now drastically overcompensating and it’s pretty hilarious even if he’s not in on the joke:
“People think I’m crazy. There are reports that I have mental issues. Tell me some shitt I don’t know. I’ve been dressing in drag since I was 17. I’ve been crazy… To be brilliant, to be a genius, to change the world, you have to be crazy… I should fuck Miley Cyrus.”
Yeah, you’re crazy Nick. So crazy. Saying all kinds of things you shouldn’t be saying. NBC couldn’t handle the truth. Excellent use of props. Now sleep it off, this was only worth noticing the first time. You could’ve picked randomly better tha Miley Cyrus.
Photo Credit: YouTube/Nick Cannon