Taylor Swift Comes Out of Hiding With Cringe-Worthy Westbrook Congrats (VIDEO)

Taylor Swift has been in hiding since earlier this year. Some say she's locked down in her candy factory after too much public attention nearly ruined her chocolate. Others suggest long term esthetician treatments and slapping her boyfriend's hand away from her adorable... read more

Demi Moore New Teeth Are Biting Back

There's a quiet confidence a woman gains when her meth teeth are fixed. Watch Orange is the New Black for a dramatized example. Though skip the ninety-four percent about oppressive prison conditions for the underclass. It's not as broadly humorous as it used to be. Demi... read more

CNN Retracts

Journalism as an honest trade is largely dead. Major news outlets are either driven by partisan ideology or the broader issue of being underfunded and understaffed as all the eyeballs and money move toward entertainment. The money always was in entertainment, but... read more

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Salma Hayek Finds Outer Beauty in Herself

There's one rule related to Hollywood women who speak or host seminars denouncing the industry patriarchy: they will be naked in selfies within three weeks. Women can be both strong and beautiful. Or, opportunistic and vain, depending on how you frame the very same... read more

DeMario Jackson Crying a Ton

Nothing worse than being accused of sex with a chick too drunk to give consent when you're simply going down on a regular old drunk chick on camera in Mexico. One is shabby and tawdry and reeks of desperation, while the other is a crime. Though not specifically in Mexico... read more

Jessica Biel Exhausted Working Mom

Identity politics is a bitch for Privileged White Women. Theirs has a horrible victimhood rating. It's why upscale white women are the most outraged and adamant about the problems plaguing the other groups.  read more

'Fearless Girl' Kills It in France

The ad agencies that reminded America to feel super bad about itself during the Super Bowl, joined forces with their Worldwide counterparts in Cannes for a chance to compliment each other's choice of suits. read more

Lil Kim Fingered

You know how when you're not happy with your Airbnb so you bust into the property manager's place with ski masks and guns and demand your money back? Lil Kim and her crew allegedly called on that oldie during the big BET Awards Show weekend in L.A. read more

Suing Your Reps Is Fraught With Peril

In Hollywood, your professional reps and personal assistants are like your family. So, only loyal to the dollar. Assume while you've been drinking most of your adult life, your esteemed ten-percenters have been sober and learning shit about you you wish were still... read more

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Time for Susan Boyle to Move

Susan Boyle is that doughy autistic janitor from Scotland who dazzled audiences on Britain's Got Talent in 2009 when she was brought on as the inspirational story to belt out some operatic tunes. Simon Cowell cried, but mostly because Cowell was in the process of fucking... read more

Trump Ruins Everybody's Ramadan Dinner Plans

Trump detractors view everything through the prism that Trump is racist, sexist, Islamaphobic, homophobic, and a spray painted pumpkin head who struggles for coherent diction. There's only strong evidence of the latter. read more

Aly Raisman Survives Yet Another Body Comment (VIDEO)

Aly Raisman was at the NHL Awards which apparently exist and occur on a Wednesday night in late June when no sports are on presenting an award alongside hockey legend, Marcel Dionne. Dionne is the old guy with the Frenchie accent. He's perfect for the role. Unclear why... read more