Help, Fletcher Cox Is Banging My Wife

A man in the saddest state of affairs is suing Philadelphia Eagles defensive tackle, Fletcher Cox, for banging his wife and making her no longer love him. read more

Old School Congressman Joe Barton Got Caught Up in New School Dick Pics

If there's any lesser remarked downside to the sexual harassment allegation avalanche, it's the increasing number of senior citizens we have to see naked. With Charlie Rose, the nudity was implied. With Texas Congressman Joe Barton, it's now in focus. read more

Kendall Jenner Beats Gisele on Model Money Chart

Jenner took home $22 million this past year compared to Bundchen's lackluster $17 million. There's no relevant list for male models since they make squat and conveniently omitted from all gender pay gap calculations.  read more

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Natalie Portman D-Minus Harassment Tale Dominates the Last Men on Earth Podcast #111

Be sure to subscribe to the Last Men on Earth podcast on iTunes. Apple takes all the upside, but once a year they mail us a piece of Steve Jobs embalmed back hair to snap into our Christmas nog. read more

Ray Allen Catfished by a Dude Who Claims They're Lovers

Fatal Attraction may be thirty years old, but its message is timeless: there's no such thing as free sex. Doubly true for side sex for a married man. At some point, some loon's boiling your daughter's pet rabbit in a crockpot. read more

Charlie Rose Naked Passion For His Work

By way of advice for a man never arrested in his life, don't insist that half the charges against you are inaccurate. All or nothing, Chucky. read more

Megyn Kelly Embracing Her Demons

Kelly reads the papers. She hears the chatter, she knows she's the water is circling the toilet clockwise and it's not rising. read more

Al Franken, Not Unexpected Small Man Groper

"I felt gross. It'd be like being walking through the mall and some random person grabbing your butt. You just feel gross. Like ew, I want to wash that off of me." read more

Kylie Jenner Peeved at Her Shitty Baby Shower

Unlike big sis's, Jenner's shower for her first rapper bastard baby was kept low-key, run entirely by E! television producers who forbid Jenner's girlfriend guests from posting selfies, snapchats, or any media of the lame "pajama garden party" whatsoever. read more

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Tyrese Kidnapping Video Is Mile Marker Seven on His Road to Insanity (VIDEO)

Tyrese thought it'd be funny to post a stunt kidnapping video to Facebook at 3am. You can't post porn to Facebook, so assume anybody engaging Facebook videos at 3am is living on the fringes.  read more

Lena Dunham Defends Her Guy Friend Against Teen Female Rape Accuser

This unmasking of Lena Dunham has been a shock to some number of followers who inexplicably didn't see her as a self-entitled, self-important, self-involved rich chick blowhard previously. read more

Angelina Jolie Insists She's the Same Old Anorexic Angelina As Before

Jolie has appeared rail thin for many years now. It's easy to write this off as a natural body frame for Jolie. Much like her admitted cocaine and heroin consumption were natural sources of nutrition. read more