Me Three

Now that the Ice Bucket Challenge is long gone, there's a new cause blazing across social media, and this time you don't even have to get doused in water to get involved. Simply update your status to include #MeToo and share the story of the time a bartender smiled at you... read more

Woman Dragged Off Flight For Pet Allergies Works Hard For The Money (VIDEO)

Nothing's more en vogue these days then getting dragged off airplanes, and yesterday an unidentified female passenger, who we'll just call Working Girl, was dragged off with the best of them while on a Southwest airplane boarding at Baltimore-Washington International... read more

Megyn Kelly Kicking Ass And Taking Dumps

Megyn Kelly is making a name for herself as the spunky morning talk show host who gathers up her Jones New York dresses, squats down, and takes massive steaming Megyn Kelly dumps on her guests. The former Fox News correspondent and perpetual owner of a... read more

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Standing Desks Kill People, New Report Says

If your name is Barbara from accounts receivable, you dabble with morbid obesity but you drink Diet now so it's all good, and you plan on dying self-impaled on a plastic ficus in your cubicle surrounded by NCIS paraphernalia, you probably love a good standing desk. If... read more

Crappy Store Files For Bankruptcy

I start to feel bad for the fate of doomed brick and mortar stores right up until the point when a sales associate at Lowe's tells me that he doesn't think they carry wire. In a time when Amazon will deliver a dental dam to your front door within one hour and then take... read more

USC Accused Of Misspelled "Shakespeare" On $700M Project

Prospective college students not able to get into a California state school or a good college in general flock to the quads at the University of Southern California, where they make a solemn oath to talk relentlessly about USC at dinner parties for the rest of their... read more

(UPDATE) Family Wants Revenge After Woman Dies From Shady Butt Injections

Thirty-one-year-old Harlem woman Latesha Bynum was taken off life support today after spending nearly two weeks in the hospital due to complications from shady butt injections. On July 15th Bynum succumbed to the pressures to look like the zombified Bratz dolls haunting... read more

Kate Beckinsale Stalker Arrested, "Overzealous"

Anyone with eyes and a working dick can see that Kate Beckinsale is a highly fuckable actress. But did you know that she's also highly stalkable? Read on to find out. Forty-five-year-old romantic Terry Lee Repp was arrested this weekend in (do we even need to say it)... read more

More Dead In Ohio (VIDEO)

As someone who lived in Ohio for four years, I can say it is the place where dreams go to die. And after a fatal incident on a ride at the Ohio State Fair, it's also the place where people go to die. A Twitter video shows four riders on the Fire Ball being flung into the... read more

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New Bachelor in Paradise Statements For Women Hating Women

The only things women hate more than being marginalized by the patriarchy are each other. The most colorful slut shaming comes from self-flagellating prostitutes with a thing or two to say about cum bucket Ashley or whoever. I heard she blew her abortion doctor. read more

Jihadists Continue to Be Super Gay

If there's an attribute common to any zealot, it's an overwhelming self hatred for impure thoughts. Inevitably about wanting to stick your dick into children or members of the same sex.  read more

In Death, There Is Cash Money (Sounds Cooler in Latin)

Spike TV is releasing a Heath Ledger documentary on May 17th. I Am Heath Ledger uses behind-the-scenes footage of the actor taken years before his multiple meds cocktail overdose in 2008. This will serve as “Ledger’s final gift to his now 11-year-old daughter.” read more