Dalia Elliott Survival Mode

With Playboy and Maxim down the shitter and Charlie Sheen on HIV hiatus, the job market for blonde tits has dried up something fierce in Los Angeles. It's a drought. A real one. Catch as catch can. Ask your grandma how she got through The Depression. You've got her tits,... read more

Are Those Boots?

Blond models with perfectly cast breasts are so common in Hollywood it's easy to forget just what perfect gifts they make for the man in your life. Were you thinking tie? A golfing gadget from that airline magazine? You're just being lazy. Get your boyfriend or husband... read more

Dalia Elliott Barely Covered

Late December is a time to think about maybe changing jobs in the coming year. I'm thinking about becoming an assassin. Because of gun control legislation I'll kill my targets by forcing them to eat Chipotle on compromised immune systems. Locally sourced organic e coli... read more

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Dalia Elliott Not Super Good At Not Being Topless

There's never been an advertising concept as viable as a topless chick pouring water over her tits. Compliance is high when big fake wet knockers ask you to do shit. It's the domain of every guy who isn't buying a Lincoln because they appreciate Matthew McConaughey's... read more