World Still Cares About Janet Jackson’s Nips As JT Secures SuperBowl Gig

Imagine an entire crowd of people kneeling at halftime to protest the injustices of 2004’s NFL nipplegate. If you’re late to the party #JusticeForJanet is the in-trend. read more

Janet Jackson, Newly Single Mom

Janet Jackson and Wissam Al Mana are divorcing to celebrate the three month birthday of the child Jackson cooked up in her older lady womb. The split happened five minutes after Al Mana remembered he's forty-two and owns every single foreign car and fast food outlet in... read more

Janet Jackson Pushing Two-Fifty

Janet Jackson is in seclusion at 250 pounds, having put on a dangerous one-hundred since needlessly becoming pregnant at fifty. This according to OK! magazine. Don't be confused with the exclamation point. Dramatic punctuation remains a lackluster substitute for real... read more

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Janet Jackson Gets A Baby for her 50th

Janet Jackson is having a baby at fifty. This defies the common wisdom that Joe Jackson long ago beat the reproductive systems out of his children leaving them falsetto and barren. A stage dad with a switch and a dream can't overcome modern science. read more

Janet Jackson Is Now a Billionaire Sort Of

I guess Janet Jackson being a billionaire is a big story. Even though it's not exactly true. Still she's got herself a nice chunk of change and I think should finally seal the deal on the fact that beating your kids will absolutely make them more successful as adults.... read more

Janet Jackson might have had a little work done

I don't know who's been doing plastic surgery on Janet Jackson, but it sure as hell isn't any doctor. Her nose is a completely separate shade from the rest of her. One eye opens wider than the other. Her smile is, at best, sinister. This could have been a sexy outfit but... read more

the Emmys, as always, were a baffling mess

The Hollywood Reporter says the ratings for last nights Emmy Awards were just slightly higher than last year (a 10.0 in 2009, a 10.1 for 2010) which proves that people will watch anything because that show never makes any god damn sense. First of all, everyone always... read more

like it or not, janet jackson is in a bikini.

At first I couldn't figure out why the description said these were pictures of Janet Jackson earlier today in Porto Cervo, Italy, while the thumbnails seemed to show some kind of trained bear. But then I opened the pictures, and eventually I put the pieces together. ... read more

monday afternoon headlines

DAVID LETTERMAN - is denying a report in the Enquirer that his wife has thrown him out of the house as a result of the affairs he admitted to last month. If she does try to kick him out, he should give her a book about Scott Peterson.  Remind her what's up. (wonderwall)... read more

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Afternoon Headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - here's a picture of Lindsay knocking on Sam Ronsons door early this morning. She of course is locked out after yet another fight. Say what you will about Lindsay but she's perceptive. Sams message got through loud and clear. She wanted Lindsay to knock on... read more

The kids want to live with Janet

I think it would be thrilling to grow up in a house with Katherine and Joe Jackson. Because you never know when Joe might punch you in the face or sodomize you. It would make bedtime more exciting! Despite all that, OK magazine says today that Michael Jackson's kids... read more

Morning headlines

JANET JACKSON - made an appearance at last nights BET Awards as part of the celebration of Michael Jacksons life. When she was done, Ne-Yo and Jamie Foxx "performed a somber version of the Jackson 5 classic ‘I'll Be There'".  And when they were done, all the white people... read more