Audrina Patridge Proceeds With Filing For Divorce And Protection Order

September 26, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Divorce is complicated and sad. And it only gets worse when your soon to be ex-wife is trying her hardest to kick you out of your home like the parents of a newly turned eighteen-year-old who talks back too much.


Bella Hadid Braless Escapades and Shit Around the Web

July 18, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments


Nicole Scherzinger is flexible, Lindsey Vonn is bootylicious, and more!


Audrina Patridge Pregnant in A Bikini

April 19, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you wanted to fuck her first, you’re too late. Audrina Patridge has eased effortlessly into the Hollywood standard practice of insisting people witness your gestating fetus and then


Chrissy Teigen And Audrina Patridge Pregnant Catting

March 21, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There’s this new thing where famous pregnant chicks are dressing sexy. It’s spreading rapdily among the reality TV and social media model set. Chrissy Teigen and Audrina Patridge hold in common that fact that tons of men want to fuck them in the backs of conversion vans and nobody knows what they do for a […]


Audrina Patridge Was There, Now She’s Here

May 12, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Imagine Audrina’s surprise when her handlers told her the Hundred-Acre Woods were just past the curtains only to find herself walking on stage at the KIIS FM Wango Tango show in Los Angeles. Wango Tango is French for your voice makes me cochlea bleed, as every second rate pop music sensation came out for their […]


Audrina Patridge In A Bikini

May 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After Audrina Patridge takes her memory milk in the evenings to help her sleep, she never knows exactly where she’ll wake up in the morning. It’s a fun game that kids who got held back a couple times in kindergarten get to play throughout their lives. In this case, she came to in Maya Riviera. […]


Audrina Patridge Looks Lost (That’s Her Secret)

April 15, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Audrina Patridge is dumb as dirt. I think I can say that without being sued. I don’t really know her intellectual quotient, but I’d estimate it as being in the range of foam peanut packing. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve to be loved. Or to have her chest leered at when they air dropped […]


Audrina Patridge Confesses to Being Fake

January 8, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Audrina Patridge has decided to come clean on the fact that The Hills was an entirely staged television show. Kristin Cavallari said the exact same thing a month ago, but Audrina decided against thundering up an original idea in the empty fruitbasket doctors implanted into her cranium as a child so her head would form […]


Audrina Patridge In A Bikini In Hawaii

December 28, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Audrina Patridge looks kind of glum. Like she just discovered the little piggies really were just her toes. I thought we all agreed not to let her see the news or science programs. It’s okay, sweetie, go back to thinking about why that giant sucker in the candy store window never gets any smaller. Photo […]


Audrina Patridge In A Bikini

July 3, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Audrina Patridge is dumber than a smokestack, but she looks pretty damn amazing in a bikini. In a just world, women like Audrina whose brains are comprised almost entirely of perfume samples might be sweeping a factory floor to pay the rent. But it’s not a just world. So Audrina gets to live her life […]

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