Catherine Zeta-Jones Doesn’t Understand Revenge

November 25, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Displeased with unflattering paparazzi photos of herself in a swimsuit on vacation in Mexico with her family, Catherine Zeta-Jones did what any woman would. She spent the entire day having her older husband snap blown-out photos of herself in a bikini and a top hat until she found a couple where she looked okay and posted them to Instagram.

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Catherine Zeta-Jones And Michael Douglas Don’t Look Very Separated

April 16, 2014 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Steven Soderbergh‘s new play The Library opened in New York City last night, and it was such an important and magical evening that it even managed to bring Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones back together. This miracle of modern love reminded us that the couple had announced its separation almost eight months ago, and it […]

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Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones Are Doing Great, Err, Fine

September 6, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Michael Douglas keeps repeating the mantra that he and Catherine Zeta-Jones are ‘fine’ despite their separation. I guess he’s an optimist. If I had cunnilingus throat cancer and my wife was bipolar and not eating and we had just split up to keep from killing each other, I might go with ‘okay’, or ‘getting by’ […]

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Michael Douglas Captains the Good Ship Cunnilingus After Separation Announcement

August 29, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

She’s bipolar and likes to throw shit. He’s got cancer from munching too much dirty box. If these two crazy lovebirds can’t cut it in this world, what chance do the rest of us have finding true and lasting love? The good thing about being rich and famous is that even when you’re old and […]

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Michael Douglas And Catherine Zeta-Jones Are Done

August 28, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

It has been a little more than four months since Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were photographed together at the 40th anniversary of the Chaplin Award Gala and they’d been going on separate vacations during that time, so I thought everyone already basically assumed that they had divorced. But they were still faking along, pretending […]

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Did Tainted Box Give Michael Douglas Cancer?

June 3, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Yep. Looks like it, according to Michael Douglas. And science. Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, usually thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied: “No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.” […]

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Last Night Was The Oscars, Here Are The Boobs That Showed Up

February 26, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Last night was The 85th Annual Academy Awards and I’m completely ashamed to say I watched the entire thing. To sum it up, Seth MacFarlane did surprisingly not shitty, Jennifer Lawrence fell down, the Best Director winner was bullshit, Ben Affleck got snubbed, then didn’t and George Clooney kept getting free scotch thrown at him […]

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