Charlie Riina in A Bikini

December 13, 2016 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you’re looking for a measuring stick to assess which inflated bikini model to take as your wife, consider the woman who pours water on her tits on the coldest day in Los Angeles and still maintains a smile.


Charlie Riina Touching

June 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Who came up with the ground rule that a chick can’t show her tits on camera, but grabbing the shit out of her implants provides sexually graphic cover. Your snatch is visible. Let’s cover that up with a water bottle that appears to be plunging into your birth canal. Jesus smiles anon.


Charlie Riina Topless Leather Goods

January 6, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Two years into it, every single one of these non-existent bottled water models has their own motif. Charlie Riina has the leather pants and coat with no shirt thing. You can’t dress like that for a job interview, unless you want the job. Times aren’t easy for titty models since Playboy announced it was moving […]


Charlie Riina Wet from Water

September 16, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I think the whole fake bottled water campaign has hit its peak. I’m not sure where they go from here. They’re not actually selling water, which is something you could do as a water selling enterprise. They’re just photographing chicks on the beach and getting them to show off their tits. There’s no shame in […]


Charlie Riina Sells Hard

September 1, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

At some point this chick is going to shove that bottle directly up her twat and finally move some water. It’s the natural next step in using sex to sell a product nobody wants. You might pay twenty bucks to watch this Cybergirl grind a pole, but try ordering water at a strip club and […]


Another Topless Water Chick And Shit Around The Web

August 11, 2015 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

They come. They go. They take off their tops for ridiculously small amounts of money. It’s bottled water art is what it is. Charlie Riina shows off her tits to sell expensive water. (Egotastic All-Stars) Miley Cyrus in see-through clothes for Marie Claire because Miley Cyrus. (Drunken Stepfather) Christina Milian bikinis better than your girlfriend. […]


Charlie Riina Black Thong Bikini In Malibu

July 29, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s hard to gauge what parts are left real on this chick. She’s a bit like Vader. More machine than man, though more woman than man still. It’s hard to explain. I’d fuck her over Caitlin Jenner if that were my construct. At some point she’ll realize that pouring water on her tits is not […]


Charlie Riina Tits and Leather

July 23, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

People imagine if you visit Los Angeles there are ambitious chicks on every block flashing their big fake knockers for some dude with a camera and impossible to nail down ethnic descent. It’s only mostly true. And only in the daylight hours. By nightfall these girls are whisked away in black town cars to be […]


Charlie Riina in A Bikini

July 15, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I’ll concede that if this chick could make the water come directly out of her nipples, I’d buy it in six packs. Short of that, I’m not sure how you place a value on bottled water. Artesian well water is just another name for thank you for your money, you fucking tool. How’d you like […]


Charlie Riina Topless Salesperson of the Month

July 7, 2015 | NSFW | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I don’t care what product you’re moving, get a chick with big blown up tits in sunglasses and a leather jacket and you are half way toward your sales goal for the month. Why do we even have advertising agencies? You thinking about buying a truck? How about that Ford 150 over there with the […]