It’s Good to Be Christie Brinkley’s Better Looking Daughter

February 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s impossible not to see a lineup of offspring from a certain family and start picking out the one that is not like the others. Every family has their Eric Trump. What the fuck happened there? When a signature supermodel starts making babies with multiple daddies it’s impossible not to delve into the sibling disparities.


Christie Brinkley No Longer Cares

July 21, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Christie Brinkley no longer cares what people think about her looks. As evidenced by her ceaseless amounts of plastic surgery and eleven hours with teams of dry wall spacklers preparing for public events. Or fucking John Mellencamp.


Christie Brinkley Isn’t Aging, She’s Geologically Forming

November 12, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I don’t know how fucking old Christie Brinkley is. But I’d ask her to keep her Methuselah hands hidden while you’re banging her in bed. Does your pelvic bone normally crack like that? I’m stopping. My safe word is ew. Brinkley has been out promoting her book which shares with other women the timeless beauty […]


Christie Brinkley Is 60

January 1, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Is it normal for a sixty year old woman to make your genitals tingle? I thought sixty year old ladies knitted quilts and baked tuna casserole. Christie Brinkley is filling out a bikini with her ample breasts and partying in the tropics on a yacht with her nipples showing. Brinkley was born in 1954, the same year […]


A Lot Of Really Attractive People Are Still Celebrating The Swimsuit Issue

February 19, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Sports Illustrated has been pulling out all of the stops to both promote and celebrate this year’s swimsuit issue, because they consider this 50th anniversary issue to be a huge milestone. Is it a milestone because this magazine has thrived for so long despite the complaints of prudes and so-called feminists who don’t give a […]


Christie Brinkley Is a Miracle

February 19, 2014 | Photos | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

How is it that Christie Brinkley’s plastic surgeons aren’t winning some kinds of scientific awards in small European cities. There’s always old dudes in black tie and hair coming out of their ears applauding some Czech doctor who cured lyme disease or some such trivial shit. But here you have 60-year old Christie Brinkley with […]


Christie Brinkley Spreads Her Legs for Money

March 5, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Christie Brinkley still looks hot. I think she’s 100 or something, but some combination of genetics and surgeries and dumping her last husband who was addicted to Internet porn has kept her looking like she’s the mom every boy on the block wants to bang. Probably none of her good looks has anything to do […]

string(7) "publish"