Hugh Hefner’s Wife Removes Implants

July 22, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Hugh Hefner’s wife Crystal suffers from lyme disease and toxic mold syndrome, which is something you probably get from making out with Hugh Hefner. To combat these ailments she had her fake tits removed. Medically speaking this seems like a dubious claim yet having foreign objects and chemicals inside you can’t be helpful for anything.


Celebrity Model Chicks Celebrate The Super Bowl

February 3, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Super Bowl Sunday is a big day for girls with big yabbos to post pictures of themselves on Instagram. Nobody but your mother and your astrologist are going to look. Go ahead and try out some football themed shots of your tits. It’s like free skate. Sketch a few new poses and move them from […]


Hugh And Crystal Hefner Are Pretty Fucking Creepy

October 30, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Somebody pulled the old man from his sarcophagus and dressed him up like Robin Thicke so that his young bride would finally look like she had a purpose for being bent over in a tight dress. The two of them together looked like a wax exhibit at the Boner Kill Museum. More out of a […]


The Captain Is Still at the Helm

September 7, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I guess the good part about getting old is you start to forget shit more easily. Like, your signature magazine business is tanking or what seems like yesterday you were wearing a robe, smoking a pipe, and looking down to see Barbi Benton gobbling your knob. So that Hoveround you’re putting around Disneyland seems like […]


Crystal Hefner in a Bikini

May 28, 2013 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If you’re Hugh Hefner’s wife, you’ll take any excuse to get out of the mansion. You can only stare at the old man in his cryogenic tube for so long before you need the real comfort of total strangers checking out your tits in a bikini. Crystal Harris isn’t great at promoting shit, but she […]


Crystal Hefner Is An American Hero

May 27, 2013 | Uncategorized | editor| 0 Comments

Charlie Sheen was scheduled to be the celebrity host of this past Saturday’s Memorial Day Weekend Salute pool party at the Sapphire Pool and Day Club in Las Vegas, and of course he bailed on that. Maybe he was caught up in filming a scene for a movie or his show, or maybe he just […]