Elle MacPherson in a Bikini on a Yacht With a Billionaire

July 13, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Elle Macpherson married Jeff Soffer, that Florida real estate dude who maybe killed somebody because he thought he was a real helicopter pilot and then he fucked Gwyneth Paltrow because Gay Beethoven didn’t understand how her muse and vagina both needed a stroking. He seems interesting. She’s fifty-one and looks just as good in a […]


Elle Macpherson Super Human

March 6, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Fifty year old Elle Macpherson did a photo shoot to promote Superelixer, a bullshit drink they sell at Whole Foods to women not nearly as hot as Elle Macpherson. I realized advertising was for stupid desperate people when I bought my first Jordans and promptly double dribbled and broke my ankle. Macpherson is the hottest fifty year old on record and when […]


Elle Macpherson Married the Dude Who Might’ve Slept With Gwyneth Paltrow and Also Killed a Man (Not at the Same Time)

December 25, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Billionaires are really fucking busy people. I don’t know any personally, but I’m just guessing they have crowded calendars. First, they have to make a billion dollars. That has to take a little time. If you’re this real estate mogul, Jeffrey Soffer, you’ve got to marry Elle Macpherson, and that isn’t happening without a little […]


Elle Macpherson is a Freak of Nature

December 7, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Here’s Elle Macpherson arriving at Art Basel at the Miami Beach Convention Center with her husband, Jeffrey Soffer, and the only thing that’s really important here is that she is 49 years old. What’s the big deal? A lot of women are 49 years old, right? Sure, but if you picked several 49 year old […]


Elle Macpherson Is Marrying For The Second Time

March 12, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Elle Macpherson will turn 49 later this month, which is remarkable because she still looks as hot as she did when she was in her 30s. It has to be something in the water specific to Australia, because New Zealand’s Rachel Hunter is younger than Elle and looks like she sleeps in a pile of […]


Elle Macpherson may or may not still have it

July 12, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

It’s not as if Elle Macpherson was posing for these pictures today in Ibiza, Spain, and they catch nothing but unflattering angles, so it seems unfair to judge how she looks in a bikini based on just this. More importantly, it seems like whatever this tool is that she’s using to eat sea urchins straight […]