Remember Charo? Wait ‘Til You See Her Now

January 5, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Khloé Kardashian showed up to the Ellen Show looking like the bloated illegitimate child between Charo and a labradoodle recently found after being stuck in a dryer for ten years. This actually makes sense, because Beast looks like she could be carrying a litter. But in actuality she’s just knocked up with one child, and Ellen was there to get […]


Don’t Let Ellen Degeneres Name Your Child

November 14, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

People are not pets. Celebrities still haven’t figured that out yet. Naming your child something you would name your french bulldog will only make your kid hate you when they’re old enough to realize what happened


Ellen Degeneres Butch Enough To Be Shamed For Katy Perry Boob Joke

October 30, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Ellen Degeneres could do no wrong pre-#metoo era. Saying something slightly offensive that would offend the most PC to a tee type of person could be brushed off and dismissed as Ellen being old and out of touch. Not anymore.


Mandalay Bay Security Guard Breaking Silence Only for ‘Ellen’ (VIDEO)

October 19, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a rather obvious bit of legal risk management, MGM Grand, the owners of the Mandalay Bay in Vegas, shoved out their wounded security guard and building maintenance guy onto the Ellen show to provide a media interview of record regarding the incidents during the night of Stephen Paddock’s mass murder shooting spree the evening of October 1. 


Miley Cyrus, Millennial Guide

September 8, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

If you turn the lights out and say the word millennial three times in the mirror Miley Cyrus will appear behind you to take a “selfie for the gram.”


Two Decades of Gay Ellen

May 4, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s been twenty years since Ellen DeGeneres made a public pronouncement about being a lesbian. She did so within an episode of her mildly amusing eponymous TV show. 


Jennifer Aniston Vaguely Champions Something That Might Be Women’s Rights

December 1, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jennifer Aniston went on Ellen to remind everybody that she has yet another shitty looking movie coming out for Christmas. It’s a low ball comedy with lots of groin jokes. She’s being paid millions. She also spent most of the interview playing Never Have I Ever about being in the Mile High Club.


Ellen DeGeneres Tied in PC Knots

August 17, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In a world of universal oppression, even the righteous among us will be wiped with the broad brush of patriarchy, bigotry, and hate speech. Ellen DeGeneres hasn’t uttered an offensive word in fifteen years of banal afternoon television. She donates to the right charities, wears spiffy unisexual pantsuits, and frequently dances with black celebrity guests. Total sham.


Kris Jenner Struggles

March 2, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There can’t be anything more tortured than Kris Jenner talking to Ellen about Bruce Jenner turning into Caitlyn Jenner and dating men. Bruce Jenner has gone to more extreme lengths to cover up the fact that he loved the man cock than any other male born on this planet. So in denial about being an […]


Ellen Brings Down the Hammer

March 25, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Dolce & Gabbana took another hit from the gay community when Ellen lambasted the unambiguously gay duo for making comments in an Italian magazine about in-vitro fertilization being as awful as pairing beige slacks with a taupe sweater. In a quirk of expectations, the designing ex-couple mentioned that babies should come from men and women […]