Hilaria Baldwin Post-Partum Selfies Ought to Piss Off the Red Tent

September 16, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hilaria Baldwin posted photos of her bare middle just twenty-four hours after giving birth to Alec’s eighty-third child by her in the past four years. The not quite Spanish yoga instructor is either trying to get most women to hate her, or all women.


Alec Baldwin Taking End of His Career Well

May 5, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Alec Baldwin has been tapped to host the reboot of The Match Game game show from 1970’s daytime television. Thanks to the success of the latest Family Feud reboot with Steve Harvey production companies are now looking to revive more game shows for network syndication. Baldwin consulted his buddies Gin and Tonic as to how to handle his feelings about being the next Steve Harvey. Everyone agreed it was a good talk.


Hilaria Baldwin Soaks in the After Birth

June 22, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hilaria Baldwin posted a photo of herself in bra and panties moments after dropping Alec Baldwin’s second half-Spanish half-bourbon baby onto the organic flax woven doula mat. I’ve seen addicted moms dig for the booze or recreational drugs not long after pushing the placenta out. They’ve been jonesing so hard. For Baldwin, it’s been a […]


Hilaria Baldwin Still Pregnant

June 4, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Hilaria Baldwin will finally give birth in July and spare us the endless selfies of her third trimester. No word on whether she will be broadcasting the delivery live via NASA’s feed or if we’ll be treated to any photos of her stitched up perineum. Women will be the first to tell you how amazing […]


Hilaria Baldwin Bonafide Woman

May 11, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Hilaria Baldwin took some time off from talking about herself to talk about herself and her fucking baby whom she is raising to be a faith healing rapist. Baldwin posted a throwback photo of herself being pregnant in case you forgot that that and pretending to be Spanish are the only thing on her trophy […]


Hilaria Baldwin Unclear Motivation

April 13, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Alec Baldwin’s weird attention seeking dubiously employed fake Spanish wife posted a photo of herself in lingerie with a baby inside her. I can’t tell if I’m supposed to masturbate or salute her for letting an angry old man squirt inside her. More than likely Baldwin will receive undying praise from a gaggle of Instagram yentas […]


Hilaria Baldwin Is Game For Something

December 31, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Alec Baldwin’s pretend Spanish daughter wife is kooky. So much so she posts photos of herself doing yoga around the house. She’s not aloof enough not to know exactly what we’re all thinking. Your bikini is mismatched. Let me fix it for you. Such would make her stupid. I refuse to believe Baldwin is porking a retard. […]


Hilaria Baldwin Slowly Killing Alec Baldwin

October 21, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The idea of hooking up with a yoga instructor half your age seems like a great idea until you come to in a pumpkin patch with an a toddler and a frisky bitch insisting you yoga pose her with a banana in her mouth. It’s not that older drunken sods don’t need their whistle wetted. […]


Hilaria Baldwin Has Tender Skills

March 22, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I wish I had a granddad who told me raunchy shit like ‘if you find a woman who can pin her legs behind ears, marry her’. Then maybe he’d give me five bucks to go get a nudie magazine and a pack of smokes to get my lungs tough from an early age. I didn’t […]


Alec Baldwin Apologized To His Gay Friends

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

After last week’s latest Twitter meltdown by Alec Baldwin, in which he called Daily Mail reporter George Stark a “toxic little queen” and threatened to shove his foot up his ass, it was only a matter of time before people started comparing the actor to Paula Deen. Baldwin went after Stark for writing that his […]