Kylie Jenner Hides Stomach Casserole In First Post-Baby Pic

February 13, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Purchased bot followers everywhere are rejoicing now that their queen Kylie Jenner is finally back on Instagram after she took a hiatus to focus on the antichrist stewing in her ovaries. But it’s probably going to be a while until Kylie the pornstar is back in action now that her not-even-able-to-legally-drink twenty-year-old body has been ripped […]

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New Video Of Preggers Kylie Jenner “Trying To Get Back Into Her SUV”

January 25, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Kylie Jenner is still holding out confirming the antichrist plotting its worldwide takeover in her ovaries until she can exploit it for all its worth on Keeping Up With The Prostitutes. But that doesn’t mean that the pap smears can’t beat her to the punch, and thanks to some guy who braved the dragon’s liar, […]

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Kardashians Play Never Have I Ever For Calvin Klein Ad

January 22, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Never have I ever inspired the look for the lead character in the Disney classic Beauty and the Beast. Khloé you’re out silly billy. Before we get into this new komercial for Calvin Klein featuring the Jenndashian brothel playing a fun lobotomized version of the game “never have I ever,” let’s just give props for body inclusivity. Twenty years ago […]

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Kris Jenner Furious That People Are Exploiting Kylie Jenner

January 15, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

The ability to self-reflect – to truly have a come-to-Jesus with oneself in order to understand both one’s strengths and weaknesses – is alive and well in the Jenndashian household! And if you don’t believe me, just check out these totally self-aware and not at all delusional and sociopathic comments from Madam Kris Jenner regarding […]

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Open Post: Which Jenndashian Needs To Be Voted Off The Island? Island Meaning Planet

December 1, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Each and every Jenndashian brings a little something extra to the table – Beast brings a fork and knife, Kim brings HPV, Kourtney brings an inch of visible gums, Kris brings a Taser in case one of them gets out of line, and Kendall of course brings the only body that isn’t an affront to God. Oh fuck, and Kylie brings… her future slut daughter fetus? They all hate Caitlyn now as much as the rest of the world, but if you want to include her, go for it, as long as you lay a tarp over the chair first. One of these super hot ladies has to go today, so head to the comments and let us know who’s the lesser of a half dozen skanks. Kim for example. 

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Kylie Jenner Peeved at Her Shitty Baby Shower

November 21, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Unlike big sis’s, Jenner’s shower for her first rapper bastard baby was kept low-key, run entirely by E! television producers who forbid Jenner’s girlfriend guests from posting selfies, snapchats, or any media of the lame “pajama garden party” whatsoever.

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Kylie Jenner Will Soon Be Some Rapper’s Wife

November 15, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Kris Jenner is probably the only mother on this planet that congratulates their kid after getting pregnant by a rapper. Now she can pat Kylie on the back for not only scoring a paternity pension if they ever split but alimony payments as well.

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Two Idiots Reference Babies To Shill Makeup

October 25, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Ninety-percent of the time I’m able to write about the Jenndashian brothel without hearing any of the girls actually speak, but in order to supposedly hear Kylie Jenner and Beast spill the hot gos on their pregnancies, I sat through this video of the two makeup-smeared idiots babbling about Khloé’s Koko Kollection for her sister’s Kylie Cosmetics line. Feel like I was just writing in tongues. Kylie and Khloé giggle about their irresistible sex appeal while applying more and more lipstick to their faces. 

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Kylie Jenner Promotes Lip Kit While Watching CA Fire

October 13, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

People looking to hilarious medical experiment Kylie Jenner as their sensitivity spirit animal were shocked and even dismayed to see that she promoted her new Lip Kit line on Snapchat in front of televised news of the California wildfires that have claimed just under thirty lives. The Frankenstein-ed Bratz Doll appears in a selfie captioned “Autumn is available on KylieCosmetics.com” with the television screen in the background telling the equally important but slightly different story “Breaking News: Canyon Fire 2 Eyewitness News.” If she had included the word “lit” in her caption I would know that there’s a God. 

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Kylie Jenner Pregnant and Alone

October 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In the future, super rich stupid chicks with big fake breasts won’t need men in order to watch Guatemalan women raise their babies. The future is now.

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