Lorde Has Throbbing “Chasm That Opens And it’s Never Going To Close”

January 19, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Yeah baby open that throbbing chasm. If you mostly know the Kiwi singer Lorde for her chart-topping music, then feel free to share all of your Tumblr Jack Skellington fan art in the comments below. If not, my hope is that you best know her as the singer who allegedly porked beautiful strong woman Jack […]

READ MORE

Lena Dunham’s Ex-girlfriend’s Life “Reduced To Dumb Hetero Normative Gossip”

January 17, 2018 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Corrections and clarifications: In the article “Lena Dunham Single” we mistakingly identified Jack Antonoff as a man. He is in fact a strong powerful woman. Thanks for your understanding. So, yeah, Lena Dunham can now hunker down with her best and closest friends Ben & Jerry while crying over the five-hour-long BBC Pride & Prejudice, […]

READ MORE

Lorde Cancels Joy to Israel

December 26, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Lorde (not the Lord) announced she’s joining in the Roger Waters, Javier Bardem, and hordes of tres chic entertainers’ anti-Israel boycott, because she can’t live with occupation of the West Bank.

READ MORE

Lorde Autoimmune Disease Apology For Cyberbullying Justice

June 20, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Elevated Hot Topics cashier Lorde publicly apologized for comments she made comparing Taylor Swift’s fame to an autoimmune disease. A moment of clarity for those suspecting Swift was an autoimmune disease all along.

READ MORE

Nick Jonas Using Lorde As A Beard And Shit Around The Web

March 28, 2016 | crap around the web | editor| 0 Comments

Nick Jonas is pretending he’s straight again by having himself photographed leaving places with Kiwi singer Lorde. It’s 2016, you can totally be a dude who loves dudes and no one gives a shit, least of all the leather jackets you’re using to compensate. Live your truth, yo. (TMZ) Lindsey Pelas has the best tits on the […]

READ MORE

Jennifer Lawrence Nipples Make Us All Sex Offenders

November 11, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I was with Jennifer Lawrence when she labeled everybody sex criminals for whacking to her hacked photos. It seemed harsh, but backing her felt like I was finally striking a blow for sexism. Also, my best chance to get laid. Peeking into her dress top to stare at her tits is probably at least a […]

READ MORE

Lorde Takes a Spill

June 17, 2014 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I remember being a teenager and looking at some 30-something and thinking, you don’t get me, you don’t get us, you’re time is passed, old man. I didn’t really think like a cheaply written multicultural gang member in the movies, but we had our own definition of cool and we were pretty certain the adults […]

READ MORE

Lorde Disses Crazy Disney Bitches

November 7, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Probable one-hit-wonder Lorde took a swipe at the teen creatures manufactured in the Disney star machine. In an interview with GQ she was asked if she worried about getting famous at such a young age. She said that because she wasn’t raised by some fame hungry stage mom on the set of some Disney Channel […]

READ MORE