Mariah Carey’s Rockin’ New Year’s Eve Performance Review — IN ADVANCE

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Here’s my review of Mariah Carey’s performance, several hours before it happens:

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Hates Christmas

November 21, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey is an entitled turd. When the world makes you the face of the top grossing pagan rooted holiday here in the states you’re supposed to say thank you. 

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Had Gastric Bypass and It’s All Your Fault

November 8, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The wanton and mass destruction caused by body-shamers has yet to be calculated. Imagine Stalin plus annoying cuts from opening plastic clamshell packaging from China and you have some idea.

READ MORE

James Packer Calls Mariah Carey His “Low Point”

October 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Who knows what drives men to make horrible decisions regarding women in their lives. Minus pussy and a nice set of tits, naturally.

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Pre-Positioning (VIDEO)

October 3, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

If Mariah Carey were a relatively normal person, you might feel sorry for her awkward position. Which was laying across a sofa in an evening gown promoting her Christmas special. It’s the first week of October, but check out the stores. She’s not alone. 

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Natural Glow

August 22, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Mariah Carey shows up about fifty years too late for her own quinceanera in the new issue of Paper Magazine, where she can also be seen stripped of about half her body in some strategically non-nude topless photos. Paper wanted to recreate their Kim Kardashian “Break the Internet” cover, but Carey kept drinking all the champagne.

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Fat Shamed From Within

August 4, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Somebody on Instagram noted that Mariah Carey looked “like a whale” in a self-promotional late night romantic Instagram with her non-heterosexual young dancer boyfriend. Obviously this troll has never seen a real whale. 

READ MORE

Will Ferrell Unloads on Mariah Carey

July 3, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The thin blue line of police officer backside covering is matched only by the unwritten rule of Hollywood entertainers to call one another amazing craftsmen. Naturally, everybody hates ones another and dreams of outing one another’s insufficiencies with petty tell-alls. They cloak it with awards shows and cocaine. 

READ MORE

Romee Strijd Keeps Victoria’s Secret and Shit Around the Web

May 10, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Lia Marie Johnson gets naked (DrunkenStepfather)

Bella Hadid and friends go jet skiing (TMZ)

Mariah Carey upskirt out on the town (TaxiDriverMovie)

 

Photographer Cassie Scott poses nude (EgotasticAllStars)

Romee Strijd keeps Victoria’s Secret (Egotastic)

Pixie Lott bootylicious in pink (Popoholic)

Hailey Clauson booty at the beach (HollywoodTuna)

Mother’s Day Battle of the Babes: Zoe Kravitz v. Lisa Bonet (Mr.Skin)

Mindy and Blue Angel share everything (Fleshbot)

READ MORE

Mariah Carey Sloppy Aspirational Cleavage

May 3, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Being Mariah Carey is the best job in the world. She eats whatever she wants. Obviously. Sitting on a reported $520 million dollars means she can look like a fist squeezing Play-Doh and not give a fuck. 

READ MORE