Mischa Barton Sued For Backing Up Into A Building

October 16, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mischa Barton’s first mistake was looking towards Hollywood Medium to help her with her uncle’s unresolved death. And backing a U-Haul into a building wasn’t too far behind on her ever growing list of fudge ups.


Mischa Barton Medium Relevance

August 2, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Dying sucks. Not because you don’t know where you’re going after you die, but because family members still won’t stop bugging you in the afterlife.


Mischa Barton Scores Sex Tape Restraints

June 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Wherever you find a female D-list celebrity in need of a turd polish, you’ll find attorney Lisa Bloom. She’s the Better Call Saul for women whose IMDB credits ended in 2007 but still aren’t dead.


Claudia Romani Hits From the Thong and Shit Around the Web

June 6, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Topless Dutch models, Mischa Barton’s sex tape, and more!


Mischa Barton Firing Off Restraining Orders

April 6, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mischa Barton, through her attorney Lisa Bloom, daughter of Gloria Allred, is painting the town with restraining orders. Barton’s team successfully argued for restraining orders against one Jon Zacharias and one Steven Spaw, who also goes by Steven Shaw, because he’s shitty with alias picking. 


Mischa Barton Seeks Dr. Phil’s Wise Counsel

March 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Mischa Barton’s taped an episode of Dr. Phil that will explain how she’s the unwitting victim of an ex-boyfriend’s secretly recorded sex tape. Also, how her half-naked fence post rantings are the result of being slipped various chemical cocktails by a Mordor ring wearing hobbit. 


Mischa Barton Revenge Porned

March 15, 2017 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Some guy is reportedly shopping around a Mischa Barton sex tape that he made with her. The unnamed man is seeking half a million dollars. The smart money says his face isn’t in it.


Mischa Barton Having a Bad Week

February 13, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

You don’t have to be a spiritual person to believe in signs. Like when covering up mental health issues with a roofie story so God makes you slam your U-Haul into your new apartment building front portico.


Mischa Barton’s ‘Roofie’ Explanation Has Some Holes

February 9, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

After Mischa Barton was hauled away from her own home half naked and screaming nonsensical crap over her back fence, her publicists got into a tiny room and concocted a statement Barton issued about being slipped a date rape drug when out for drinks with friends. Pretty topical.


What If Mischa Barton Is Sane and the Rest of the World is Crazy?

January 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In response to her neighbors calling the cops on a crazy half-naked chick screaming random nonsense hanging over a backyard fence, Mischa Barton has a thoughtful explanation, issued to People magazine, naturally.