Chris Brown Opens Up About Beating

August 18, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Domestic violence is never okay. In an obvious PR move, Chris made a documentary opening up about the beating to clear his name. Sort of. 

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Rihanna Fucking Rich

June 29, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It took several hours for the Internet to uncover the name of the dude seen making out with Rihanna in a pool in Spain. That provided a ton of speculation for people who are consumed with the love lives of people more romantically successful than themselves.

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Rihanna Deep V and Shit Around the Web

June 1, 2017 | crap around the web | Robert Paulsen| 0 Comments

Disgraced models, getting lucky in Kentucky, and more!

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Rihanna Is Your Humanitarian of the Year

February 23, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rihanna’s Humanitarian of the Year Award from Harvard University surprised many people who didn’t realize you could be a hard partying auto-tuned pop star and also be extremely charitable.

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Beefing With Azealia Banks Seems Like a Bad Idea

January 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Some lessons in life have to be learned the hard way. Like never get in a fight with a crazy person. Mental patients care little for your superior muscles or legal power or social status. Even if you defeat a nut job, what have you really accomplished? Classic lose-lose.

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Chick Flick Reboots and Microsoft’s Bestiality Gigs on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #73

January 21, 2017 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

On this week’s Last Men on Earth podcast Matt and I delve into the inane mess of rebooting male movies with female casts, Joss Whedon rape murder torture threats, Microsoft kiddy torture porn jobs available, the sparseness of attractive women athletes and why that’s okay, a nation of GoFundMe millennials needing a spanking, and Matt trying to remain sober enough to explain why the future will suck worse than you know. It’s inspiring in its pure depression.

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Barbados Needs a Better Tourism Board (VIDEO)

December 2, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Barbados is celebrating its 50th year of Independence from British colonial rule. That’s the day they finally told the English to leave, then promptly created four-color travel brochures reminding them how much they secretly liked fucking black chicks.

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Rihanna and Uncle Terry Stole a Baby

September 10, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nobody spoke up when Rihanna grabbed her own tit or a cigarillo for Terry Richardson. The baby is another matter. Where’d the baby come from, Uncle Terry? Speak now or gargle out the answer from the unfriendly end of a waterboard.

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Rihanna Sex in Sweden (VIDEO)

July 5, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rihanna’s concert performance involves a suspended glass walkway she crawls back and forth across in ass-less chaps over the crowd. Your basic strip show main stage with higher production cost. At various ports of call, Drake shows up to simulate fucking her doggy style. You can hear the throngs of fourteen year old girls who are pretty certain their parents have no idea what the hell goes on at a Rihanna concert. Boys might remember this feeling as the first time they saw unscrambled porn.

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