Aaron Carter Wants To Bang Boy Body

January 1, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Chloë Grace Moretz is not winning the war when it comes attracting unquestionably heterosexual men. After Brooklyn Beckham ditched Madison Beer to get back with Chloë is was clear that he’s into ugly women who look like pretty men. 

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Aaron Carter Shares HIV Test Results On Television

September 15, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Carter was apparently shocked when he realized he was looking into a mirror and not watching a deleted scene from The Walking Dead deemed too gruesome for basic cable. Instead of going to the hospital to deal with that mess, he booked the only show that would have him. The Z-list celebrity way. 

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Jesse Pinkman Gay Club Breakdown

August 11, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Aaron Carter’s highway to mental breakdown is being punctuated with various diversions before he eventually points those Second Amendment rights at himself. Carter recently announced that he puts the B in LGBT – B meaning Batshit crazy – and last night performed at a gay club in his home state of Florida (shocker).

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Aaron Carter Bi-Something

August 8, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Aaron Carter is rewriting his single That’s How I Beat Shaq to That’s How I Beat Off Shaq with a new bisexual confession that marginally peaked the interest of the Internet for four minutes. After a recent string of erratic behavior, I’m not doubting that Carter is bi… polar.

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Aaron Carter Doing Well

July 17, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Pop sensation Aaron Carter was doing his updated version of Aaron’s Party – drinking, smoking weed, and driving with a prostitute girlfriend – when he was slapped with a DUI by the Habersham County, GA police. He was also charged with possession of Marijuana. Carter’s mugshot looks like a stock photo of a meth “After” picture. Must remember to wear sunscreen.

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Aaron Carter 2nd Amendment For Gay Pride

June 9, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Contrary to popular belief, Aaron Carter did not die in the 2010’s due to stage four obscurity or a glue overdose. He’s alive and all set to make his presence known to any terrorists that gets in his way. Carter is set to perform at L.A. Pride this weekend where he may or may not bring a loaded gun.

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Aaron Carter Jumped By His Opening Act

February 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Aaron Carter was jumped by a member of the band opening for him at a dive bar in Bradley, Illinois. If you were opening for Aaron Carter, you’d want to kill somebody too. It reflects poorly on your chances for that big label deal. 

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Aaron Carter’s Website Held Hostage

July 19, 2016 | Uncategorized | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Aaron Carter is the brother of former Backstreet Boys lip syncher Nick Carter. They’re both Florida swamp trash and share the common bond of being molested by their record producer.

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Aaron Carter Wants Hilary Duff Back

March 8, 2014 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Aaron Carter is still in love with his teenage girlfriend Hilary Duff and is acting like a middle school girl on Twitter to prove it. The two of them dated when they were 13, back when Aaron could only dream about meeting his future broke and unemployed hero self in ten years time. They would […]

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Aaron Carter Goes Belly Up

November 22, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s a shame that we live in a country where a guy with no job can’t make a living. Who’s going to host a canned food drive for this stupid fucker for Thanksgiving? Is Ashton Kutcher going to stick his intellectual neck out to berate the recording industry for not selling any Aaron Carter CDs […]

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